


Of Christmastime and Childbirth

by skye_42



Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Genre: Cardan loves his wife, F/M, Jude is stubborn, Mortal world, Pregnancy, jurdanweek2020, labor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24385957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skye_42/pseuds/skye_42
Summary: Jude is so convinced that she won’t give birth on her due date that she decides to drag Cardan to the mortal world.She gives birth on her due date.In a mortal hospital.
Relationships: Jude Duarte/Cardan Greenbriar
Comments: 7
Kudos: 162





	Of Christmastime and Childbirth

**Author's Note:**

> So this is based on the true story of my birth because I’ll be damned if my mother didn’t pull a Jude Duarte Dumb Bitch MoveTM 
> 
> If you want to know the full list of what actually happened in real life and how in a character it was, go check out this story on my tumblr: snusbandxknifewife

“Cardan shut the fuck up, we are fine!”

Cardan Greenbriar had tried for hours to convince his very stubborn—very pregnant—wife that maybe a trip to the mortal world this close to her due date wasn’t the wisest idea. Naturally, she stomped her foot and crossed her arms over her swollen belly and that was that, off to the mortal world they went. 

“Jude, my love, will you at least let me carry your purse?” He would keep trying to help her until she finally snapped and killed him. 

Jude wasn’t happy about having to carry a purse now, but she was unable to lean down to strap a knife to her thigh and her breasts had grown too large for her to force a dagger between them without risking injury, so a handbag was her only option to carry her weaponry. Cardan, wisely, had long since decided that questioning his wife’s ability to even wield a knife in her current state wasn’t the smartest move. 

She huffed and shoved the bag square into the center of his chest before turning on her heel and waddling her way down the baby aisle of the local Target. 

She had no mortal maternity clothing, so she’d settled for wearing a simple dress of flowing silk, held closed by a belt just under her breast and giving way to the large belly that she always kept one protective hand on. Cardan walked closely behind her, his mortal sneakers squeaking against the linoleum floor as he tried not to remind himself that this was very stupid. 

Jude Duarte Greenbriar, his wife and the High Queen of Elfhame, had given new meaning to the term stubborn today. As the entire palace tittered with excitement over it being the baby’s due date—she would forever curse herself for sharing that information from her human OBGYN—she’d lost her cool. A strongly worded letter had been sent to every one in her family and any courtier or guard close enough to the royal chambers could hear her screaming at her husband about how “THE BABY WILL NOT BE COMING TODAY SO EVERYBODY CAN JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”

Then she’d decided that they needed something called a “pacifier,” whatever that was, and next thing he knew they were walking into Target. 

Jude had wanted to go alone, but Cardan had been wise enough to insist that Fand and the Bomb accompany them. She’d finally given in, but only once they’d promised to stay out of sight the entire time. 

He was, naturally, fucking panicking. Today was their daughter’s due date, and now that Jude had gone and told everyone off, all their family and friends would be preparing for the upcoming Christmas festivities, set for two weeks in the future. They had no way to get in contact with anyone if the worst were to happen. 

Jude picked out a set of pink pacifiers with different zoo animals drawn on them. Evidently unsatisfied, she then set about grabbing every baby blanket and stuffed toy she could possibly reach. Cardan was bemused, but chose to hold everything she handed him, rather than fight her. 

“Do we need diapers?” She asked, both hands under her belly as she looked over her shoulder. 

“Our baby will be fae,” he reminded her. “No need to worry about all that.”

He couldn’t help his snort of laughter as she looked heavenward and thanked the gods. 

Then she was back on her quest, looking for something or another that they suddenly, desperately needed for the baby, despite her not even knowing it had existed a few minutes ago. When her eyes catch on a baby pink stuffed lion on the top shelf, she got up on her tippy toes and reached for it, her fingers just barely brushing against its little feet. 

Cardan, seeing his wife struggling and being comically taller than her, reached over and plucked the little toy with ease, not noticing how Jude froze when he did. 

Her face twisted in anger and disgust and she stomped her foot once more. He, thinking he had somehow offended her by helping her out, was halfway through apologizing before she loudly announced that she thought she’d just peed herself and he needed to go get her new panties while she went to the bathroom. 

She left in a flurry of silk skirts and wild hair, headed for the woman’s restroom and leaving her poor husband behind with an armful of baby products and a rogue thought about how uncomfortable it must be for mortals to have to do things like go to the bathroom. 

After so long with his Jude, he had come to love all her mortal quirks. Her rounded ears were his favorite part of her body and her dulled senses made it all the easier to surprise her. But he still found himself occasionally wishing that she wasn’t a mortal, now solely because he saw all the discomfort it brought her. Pregnancy had kept her sick and cranky for nine full months. He’d never known a fae mother to have such terrible morning sickness, and he had no idea how mortal women did anything while pregnant, given how often they had to pee. 

“I’ll get her the panties.” He about jumped out of his skin when the Bomb popped up behind him, like she’d been lurking just one aisle over and had heard everything. 

By this point in the pregnancy, he’d long since learned when he just needed to shut up and go with the flow, so he went about purchasing all the new baby products with a few leaves glamoured to look like mortal money. When he looked up, Target bags hanging from his fingers and handbag firmly situated on his shoulder, his wife was waiting by the exit with her arms crossed. 

“The Bomb promised to stay away,” she explained with a scowl. “Why’d she bring me panties?”

“She promised to stay out of sight,” he countered as lovingly as he could in an effort to calm her. “I’d say, as long as she didn’t come in the stall with you, she kept her promise.”

He transferred all the bags to one hand so he could grab hers. Jude, scowl still plastered across her face, took his hand and led him out of the Target. 

“I want donuts.” She switched her direction mid-step and started stalking down the sidewalk towards the little donut shop in the same plaza as the Target. 

Cardan sat across from her at a two-person table in the donut shop for close to an hour, just watching as she angrily ate three glazed donuts. He’d left their shopping bags outside for Fand to grab and have sent back to Elfhame. 

It was as he watched Jude eat her third donut that he began to sense something was amiss. Every so often, his darling little demon of a wife would get inexplicably angrier, her brow furrowing and her nostrils flaring and her teeth grinding down. Then, after a minute or so, she’d go back to her calmer level of pissed off. 

As Jude announced that she wanted to go buy something called “pads” for after the baby’s birth, Cardan started paying more attention. He grabbed her handbag and kept his other hand firmly on the small of her back, feeling how she’d tense up for a few minutes and then go back to normal. 

Holding Jude’s brand new supply of extra absorbent pads, and the few extra things she’d spent an hour dragging him around the store for, Cardan fully began to panic. Jude’s episodes were getting longer and closer together. 

He’d done enough reading to know she was having contractions, and he’d done enough reading to know that when you have contractions two minutes apart, you aren’t getting on a ragwort steed and making it back to Elfhame. 

When Jude went to the bathroom again, Cardan was ready for the Bomb. 

“She’s in labor,” they announced simultaneously. 

“Send word to her sisters and have the healers ready for when we return.” Cardan let out a sigh. “I think we’re having this baby in the mortal world.”

“I’ll call Vivienne.” Just like that, the Bomb was gone. 

Cardan could fall to his knees and weep with relief at the reminder that Vivienne lived close. She was only a few minute’s drive away, she would know the way to the hospital, she’d be able to help him get Jude in the damn car. 

By the time Jude was out of the bathroom, Vivi had broken a minimum of seven laws to get to them and she was waiting outside the front door, heavy parka pulled up over her pointed ears and dark sunglasses blocking her cat eyes. 

“What’s all this?” Jude looked ready to murder Cardan, and he didn’t doubt she could do it even with him having all her knives. “Cardan, I wanted to be alone!”

“Jude, you’re in labor,” he announced, doing his best to keep his voice calm. Internally he was losing it, but he didn’t think that letting her see that would help the situation. 

“No I’m no—“ she breaks off with a growl, her face contorting in anger right on time with the counting in Cardan’s head. From his reading and the stories he’d heard, he expected tears or screaming when her contractions got this bad, not to have her hide her pain behind a wall of pure fury. 

He opened the car door and threw their shopping bags in, offering a hand to his wife and desperately trying to coerce her into the car. “Darling please, we need to get to the hospital. I don’t know how to deliver a child, and I don’t plan on finding out today.”

“They’re just Braxton-Hicks,” she tries again, almost whining. “I’m not having the baby today!”

“Baby says otherwise,” Vivi calls out from the front seat as Jude once again tenses. “Now get in the damn car, it’s a fifteen minute ride to the hospital.”

“We can’t go to the hospital!” Jude digs in her heels and looks to Cardan with wide eyes, suddenly coming to terms with the fact that they were in the mortal world. “Cardan, our baby has pointed ears and a tail!”

They’d been going to regular OBGYN appointments and seeing ultrasounds of the baby so they’d have an idea of what animal characteristic their child would present, glamouring the doctor after every visit. They knew that their little girl had a tail like her daddy. That would be a fucking problem if the hospital noticed. 

“You focus on the hard part and leave the glamouring to me, darling,” he said with a kiss to her forehead. 

Vivi had to threaten to knock her out and drag her into the backseat before she finally gave up and climbed in, grumbling the whole time. 

“Cardan, start timing.” Vivi threw an old wristwatch over her shoulder and he caught it mid-air, marking the time and then staring at his wife as his sister-in-law did her very best to break the sound barrier with a beat-up SUV. 

By the time they made it to the hospital, Jude was silent, save for her episodes of heavy breathing. A minute and a half apart now. 

They pulled up to the women’s center and Cardan picked his wife up like she weighed no more than a feather. Vivi sped off, promising to go pick up Heather and return with food and a baby bag, since they were going to be in for the long haul. 

Cardan made it to the maternity ward check in and was suddenly faced with the fact that he had literally no idea what to do here. Back in Elfhame, Jude would’ve had the baby in the comfort of their private rooms, with healers waiting on her hand and foot. The sterile smell and white walls of this mortal hospital made him infinitely more nervous than the comfort of their home would’ve. 

“Hello sir,” the receptionist lady started, eyeing how he held his wife and how she didn’t seem at all panicked, and deciding that she has another father who had no clue what’s going on. Her tone was somewhere between soothing and mocking, like she’d dealt with this sort of thing all day. “If you’d like to fill out these forms—“

“My wife’s contractions are a minute and a half apart,” he cut her off, his fear somehow taking a backseat and his voice coming out with all the authority of a High King. 

The receptionist’s eyes went wide. “I’m sorry, what?”

He maneuvered Jude so he could throw the watch down on the desk. Then he counted down from five and, right on time, Jude tensed with a contraction. 

Then it was a flurry of movement, the receptionist throwing the papers to the side and calling for a wheelchair as Cardan stood dumbfounded. A nurse took Jude from his arms and settled her in a wheelchair before running through a set of double doors, leaving him to chase after her. 

They ended up in what looked like a little sitting room with a table in the center. Then, as he watched, the nurse hit a few buttons in the wall and the whole room transformed. The two chairs pulled away from the table and the table unfolded into a bed, lowering down enough for Jude to climb up. 

His wife was far past claiming that the baby wouldn’t be coming today. She’d gone somewhere within herself, both hands on her belly and focus written in every line on her face. 

He helped the nurse undress her and tied her into a hospital gown while they strapped her into a bazillion different monitors. Soon, her heartbeat filled the room and he was watching all the screens, utterly terrified by his confusion. 

“Can you give a urine sample?” A small nurse with a sickeningly fake grin asked, holding up a little plastic cup. 

“Not with my baby’s head in the way,” Jude grunted in response, her teeth grinding down and one of her hands reaching for her husband’s. “Can you get the doctor?”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad, sweetie, let’s see how far along you are.” Cardan’s brow twitched at the offhanded way she spoke to his wife and he found himself gripping her hand harder to keep her from swinging for the nurse as the woman bent under the blanket, pulling Jude’s knees apart. 

She was down there for a few seconds before popping back up, that smile even bigger as she said, “you’re at about nine centimeters. Don’t you worry at all, I’ll go get the doctor!”

Cardan, unaccustomed to speaking to many mortals, would’ve never thought twice about her words, if it weren’t for the way Jude snorted at the nurse all but sprinted out of the room. 

“She’s lying,” Jude observed, sounding callous. 

“My love?” He turned to her, new fear sprouting in his stomach. 

“The nurse is lying about how dilated I am.” She nodded after where the woman had run out. “They have you start pushing at ten. She checked me and then said I was a nine and ran. That’s what they tell you when you’re at a ten and the doctor isn’t here.”

That comment leaves his mouth tasting like ash and she must see something amusing in the way his face changes, because she gives a little laugh. 

For the next ten minutes or so, nobody came in except for one nurse who tried to force Jude again to give a urine sample, only getting blood and one pissed off couple for her efforts. 

Jude turned onto her left side and Cardan sat on the bed by her hip, fingers carding through her hair and opposite hand rubbing her back to help her through a contraction. 

They were like this when the door slammed open and a man, wearing a suit that most definitely wasn’t even close to sterile scrubs, ran in. 

“I’ll be right back!” His hair was wild and his jacket half off as he held out both hands, almost like he was telling them both to wait. Just that quickly, he was gone again. 

“What in the hell—“ Jude broke off with a groan and her heart rate spiked. Cardan may not know a lot, but he wasn’t that stupid, he knew this baby was coming soon. 

A minute or so later, the door crashed open again and the doctor skidded into the room sideways, his scrubs pulled up to his elbows and a nurse tying on his cap as he finished adjusting one of his gloves. 

“Let’s have a baby!” 

Cardan watched in fascination as the man picked up what looked like a magic wand with a bulb on the end. He held it high above his head and pressed a button, causing the bulb to flash and all the lights to come out of the ceiling and angle towards the wand. The doctor then ordered the nurses to get Jude on her back and aimed the lights between her legs. 

“Jude, did you see that?” Cardan asked, his jaw on the floor as he battled between awe at mortal technology and amusement at how his wife was now lit up like a stage. “The lights followed him!”

“I’m a little busy!” Jude hissed back and Cardan suddenly remembered that, oh yeah, his wife was literally in labor, and he should probably be paying attention to that instead of the lights. 

“Shit, sorry!” He gripped her hand once more and kissed her forehead. 

The whole room was alive with movement as the doctor got Jude in the right position and she began to push. One nurse was watching the monitors, keeping an eye on both mom and baby. Another was trying to force Jude to take some oral medication called Tylenol, because she had nothing to ease her pain, and Jude was batting her away. A third nurse held an oxygen mask to Jude’s face and kept one of her legs back. 

Cardan held his wife’s hand and kept his other hand on her knee. He tuned into her, watching how a preternatural calm took over. The only thing giving away her pain was how she was nearly breaking his hand with every contraction. 

He knew that a lot of woman were in labor for a long time, and that some pushed for hours, so this all seemed to be moving quite quickly. He kept his eyes on her face, on how focused she was on their baby. She still wasn’t crying, wasn’t screaming in pain. She just looked angry with every push, like she was using her fury to keep her cool in the situation. 

Then something changed, just a little. She’d been pushing too hard, hadn’t stopped long enough to recover. For just one moment, Cardan saw fear flit across her face. 

“I can’t breathe!” Cardan’s heart leapt as his wife cried out and he frantically ran through his options, trying to find something, anything to do to help her. 

Then the nurse with the oxygen mask made a mistake. 

“I just don’t think you’re trying very hard,” she snapped at Jude. It was the same woman who’d lied about how dilated Jude was. 

Pure, unadulterated rage grew from the very pit of his stomach, but he didn’t get the chance to unleash it. Instead, he watched his wife’s eyes go murderous, her face go as blank as it did every time she held a knife to someone’s throat. 

She stopped pushing and sat up, raising one finger to point at the nurse’s forehead like a witch laying a curse. 

“GET THE FUCK OUT!”

It was the loudest he’d ever heard her scream, and her shout was a low bark instead of a shrill order. She was a general ordering a court marshall, the High Queen ordering an execution, not a woman going through the pain of childbirth. 

The nurse fell back in shock, turning to him like she expected him to counteract his wife’s wishes. 

“Get the fuck out!” He waved a hand to the door and made a face at the very idea that he’d even think of going against his wife’s word when she was busy birthing his daughter. How fucking dare this woman?

The nurse, now completely flabbergasted, turned to the doctor, who had only looked up when he heard the screaming. He took one look at Jude’s face and told the nurse to get the fuck out. 

Jude grabbed the oxygen mask from the nurse as she left and held it to her own face, turning back to the ordeal of childbirth with twice the ferocity of before. It wasn’t a minute afterwards that the crying of their child filled the room. 

Cardan threw himself full-force into glamouring away their daughter’s ears and her tail, a short little tail of fluffy black fur, sticking out like a sore thumb the way a kitten’s tail always does. The nurse and doctor didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary as they laid the little girl on Jude’s chest and asked Cardan to cut the cord. 

She had a shock of midnight black hair just like her father and she certainly shared her mother’s temper as she angrily cried her little heart out, her face turning red. 

Jude didn’t relax as they took her away to clean and measure her. She stayed focused on the rest of the birth, nodding her head to Cardan to tell him to keep an eye on their daughter. 

It wasn’t until the little girl was weighed and cleaned and wrapped in a blanket that Jude keyed into the fact that it was over, their baby was here. She took the child in her arms again and wept, holding her as close as she could. 

Cardan reaches a finger out, running it over the tiny pointed ear that only he and Jude could see. In response, the baby flexed her little hand and showed that she had the claws of a housecat. 

His heart swelled with an emotion he couldn’t really describe as he took in the sight of his wife and daughter, his two girls. 

The next two hours consisted of Vivi and Heather showing up, the Bomb in tow with a carriage to take them home since there was absolutely no way Jude was getting on a ragwort horse in her state. Vivi couldn’t believe that the baby was already there, just a half hour after she’d dropped Jude off. Cardan had to glamour their way out of the hospital after stealing the baby from the nursery, removing a little pink bow from her forehead that they’d affixed with toothpaste. 

“Who the fuck puts toothpaste on a baby?” He raised an eyebrow at Jude from across the carriage, holding their daughter during the ride back so Jude could lay down. 

It was a mess getting her out, especially so soon after birth. He’d had the Bomb ensure that healers were waiting in their chambers to help her in ways that the mortal doctors couldn’t, so he knew that it was best to move them both as soon as possible, but it still hurt him to see how drained she was. 

“I can’t believe they put toothpaste on our baby,” he continued, looking down to where his daughter was watching him intently with big black eyes. He knew then and there, as he looked to her, that he was in trouble. He’d never recover from how much he loved this little girl. 

“What in the world are we going to name her?” His whisper filled the carriage and Jude blinked back tears once again. Just seeing him with their little girl did things to her heart that she didn’t even know could be possible. 

“Well,” she started, doing her best not to move too much, “why did your parents name you Cardan?”

“I don’t pretend to know why my parents did anything,” he snorted. “Why were you named Jude?”

She smiled up at the carriage ceiling. “I was named after a song that my mother enjoyed. Hey Jude. It was by a band called The Beatles.”

“You’ll have to show me the song sometime.”

She laid her hands on her belly, which still looked pregnant, and studied how her husband’s long fingers curved over their bundled up daughter. 

“How about Lucille?” 

He made a questioning noise, obviously having gotten lost in their baby’s eyes. 

“Lucille,” she tried again. “The band who wrote the song I’m named for had another song, Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds. We could name her Lucille and only ever call her Lucy. It would make it all the harder to guess her truename.”

“Do you ever stop scheming, my darling nemesis?” He smiled as he turned the name over in his head. He liked the idea of naming their little girl after a song, especially a mortal one. He wanted her to be proud of her roots. 

“Not when it comes to protecting my family,” she promised, her voice suddenly grave. 

Cardan just smiled again and looked up at his wife, at his whole world. 

“Lucille Greenbriar,” he tried the name out. “Little Lucy.”

Jude’s face softened once more and she reached out to take the baby, tucking the child close to her chest as they sailed over Elfhame. 

“I like it,” he announced.


End file.
